Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Tommy Lee Jones of browsers

"Chrome is the Tommy Lee Jones of browsers. Effective hero, yes. But does the guy ever get kissed by the leading lady?"
(Sept. 3, 2010, Alexis Kayhill, Mac360)

Monday, November 29, 2010

The McLovin of halftime performances

"What’s weird about Nipplegate is the way it obscured our memory of the remaining, fairly impressive slew of musicians. It was like the McLovin’ of Halftime performances."
(Jan. 31, 2008, Kenny Herzog, Topless Robot)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Natalie Portman of Israeli politics

"Here's a fun fact: Ariel Sharon's birth name was actually Ariel Scheinermann. So that means that even in Israel, celebrities change their names to sound less Jewy. He was the Natalie Portman of Israeli politics. Well, is. See? I still forget."
(June 18, 2009, Bloggin' with Mr. Cooper)

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The Salma Hayek of math teachers

"Mrs. Westlake is like the Salma Hayek of math teachers!"
(Nov. 10, 2008, Good Days and Special Times)

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Tom Brady of collecting belly button lint

"Oh, sure. Go ahead and mock this guy. But he’s the best in the world at what he does. The BEST. In the WORLD. And how many people can say that? He’s the Tom Brady of collecting belly button lint. What UB is to soft core porn or Dalton is to being a cooler, Barker is to bizarre, worthless, mentally unstable hobbies."
(Oct. 26, 2010, Jerry Thornton, Barstool Sports)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Christina Hendricks of spuds

"That said, if they fuck this one up, there will be consequences. Cloud Atlas is certainly in my top 10 for books, maybe in my top 5 (on a good day). I know that, in the past, I've threatened consequences for things like Harry Potter (ha!), The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and the newer Pride and Prejudice (worst. movie. ever.). But that's small potatoes compared to this, the Christina Hendricks of spuds."
(June 17, 2010, Pajiba)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Donald Duck of petty crimes

"So just how do you get arrested 154 times without going to jail for your whole life? Keep your offenses small. Baldwin’s been nicked in the past for eight trespass notices, 75 citations, having four Social Security aliases, as well as convictions for thefts, receiving stolen property, arson and criminal mischief. Baldwin is like the Donald Duck of petty crimes!"
(July 2, 2010, Ron Hogan, Popular Fidelity)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Fredo of the Baldwin brothers

"I feel bad for the Fredo of the Baldwin brothers (Stephen?), he’s been in NOLA since the spill working and giving interviews…..'get your Hollywood asses and telethons down here!'…….nobody covers him but Fox."
(June 3, 2010, Newsbird's Views)

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Hemingway of dipshittery

"When we arrived at the house on the island, I was horrified to see that the entire place was tricked out with blindingly white carpet. It was the brightest white I’d ever seen, and I had visions of myself tromping in there like a big ol’ hick, with railroad grease all over my shoes, or something. Right away I was nervous. It was like a blank sheet of paper, and I was the Hemingway of dipshittery."
(Oct. 19, 2010, Surf Report)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Boy George of vital Calvinism

"If the latter, then as is so often the case, the turning point in American Presbyterian history is 1741 and the anointing of George Whitefield as the Boy George of vital Calvinism. Odd though that no one called that Episcopal priest Reformed."
(Dec. 1, 2009, Darryl G. Hart, Old Life)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Charles Manson of cereal mascots

"Crazy Craving the name says it all. It is the Charles Manson of cereal mascots."
(April 7, 2009, Topless Robot)

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Jesse Ventura of speckled trout

"The damn fish they brought me was enormous. Sucker must have been on steroids, the Jesse Ventura of speckled trout. Whooo boy, but good."
(Oct. 9, 2010, Maxminimus)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Charlie Sheen of Post-Impressionist painters

"Photographs of famed painter Henri Toulouse-Lautrec (the short guy who did all those posters for the Moulin Rouge) defecating on a public beach. He was the Charlie Sheen of Post-Impressionist painters. Depending on how squeamish you are about bathroom business, NSFW."
(Nov. 9, 2010, Y Not Share)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Brad Pitt of the bird world

"On a side note, the Peregrine is apparently the most sought after bird to date, he is like the Brad Pitt of the bird world. If you are a female bird and you bring home a Peregrine Falcon for dinner, your dad will be mighty impressed. And I mean mighty impressed."
(Oct. 27, 2009, Newshound)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Barney Fifes of ancient warriors

"Peltasts are the Barney Fife’s of ancient warriors; or perhaps they are Rodney Dangerfields. 'No respect,' he might lament and so might they. The most basic form of combat considered is the simple act of hitting somebody with your fist, and so perhaps the first actual form of long-range combat would be rock throwing. To some degree, throughout ancient history, that’s exactly what peltasts were – rock throwers."
(Nov. 29, 2009, Civilian Military Intelligence Group)

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Roman Polanski of crackhead fugitives

"Lindsay Lohan is like the Roman Polanski of crackhead fugitives"
(May 20, 2010, Celebitchy)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Jerry Garcia of the elementary school set

"David Grover, called 'the Jerry Garcia of the elementary school set,' has been compared to Mr. Rogers, Paul Simon and James Taylor with a bit of Kermit the Frog. From his roots performing for 20 years with Arlo Guthrie and Pete Seeger to original songs about peace, tolerance and taking care of the planet, Grover’s folky songs make him irresistible across the generations."
(Jan. 19, 2010, Tribeca Citizen)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Tim Gunn of sleeping

"My husband is a champion sleeper. He can fall asleep at 6 pm just as easily as if it were 11 pm. He can sleep on the couch in a weird contortion around the cats and the dog. He can sleep with his glasses on and his boots tied. He can sleep through earthquakes and car alarms and screeching wives.

He knows no obstacles. He is the MacGyver of sleeping.

(I almost said he was the Tim Gunn of sleeping. You know, because he makes it work no matter what. But then I thought I should go with something less... fancy.)"
(Aug. 10, 2010, Clever Girl Goes Blog)

Friday, November 12, 2010

The Lil Wayne of white chicks

"This babe is damn near the Lil Wayne of white chicks. I don’t think I’ve ever seen knee tattoos before. But wait there’s more."
(March 19, 2010, Us Versus Then)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Kenny McCormick of Lost

"And then just two hours later, Charlie has his moment of truth and faces it admirably. In his final moments, he stops the jamming signal and establishes communication with... Penny, Desmond's ex-girlfriend. The boat off the shore, thought to be hers, is confirmed as not by Penny herself. But before Charlie can give Desmond the info verbally, the window in the control room gets blown out by a suicide bombing one-eyed Russian named Mikhail (the Kenny McCormick of Lost). Charlie scribbles 'Not Penny's Boat' on his hand to warn Desmond and the other survivors that the boat people aren't who they say they are. And then he drowns."
(May 23, 2010, Words of the Weasel Sort)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Meryl Streep of the porn community

"Awesome post. Love Faye. I think she’s the Meryl Streep of the porn community. She can actually act. I believe her every time she moans. Not to be too douchy but if anyone’s interested, they can see Faye’s unbelievable work for American Apparel here."
(Oct. 8, 2010, The Beer Goggler)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Keith Richards of welding

"I liked watching the guy weld something under a truck. Little skinny tattooed guy, never without a cigarette, really good at what he does.

The Keith Richards of welding."
(Aug. 19, 2010, Firedoglake)

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Woody Woodpecker of unhinged right-wingers

"Bullshit. He's an instigator. He's the Woody Woodpecker of unhinged right-wingers."
(Oct 12, 2010, The Straight Dope)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Kate Bosworth of shoulder pads

"If velvet's not your scene, epaulets provide an equally up-to-the-minute embellishment. They're like the Kate Bosworth of shoulder pads: kind of frail and spindly, but not unattractive. Am I right? Am I right?"
(Nov. 18, 2009, Emma Aubry Roberts, La Vie en Ginger)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Wilma Flintstone of the modern day technological world

"Well then, I finally made it into the 21st Century and purchased my very first cell phone. I know, I am the Wilma Flintstone of the modern day technological world, and for someone who loves tech stuff and gadgets, I am certain this comes as a suprise! But hey, everyone has one, and I don’t like to chat on the phone much. Yet, I am so active, and I love to keep in touch with family and friends. Not to mention my big brother keeps telling me it’s not safe traveling around these days without a cell phone… sheesh!"
(June 22, 2010, This Virtual World)

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Malcolm Gladwell of dating sites

"If our SmartPhones are any indication, Gen Y/Myspace/millennial/whatevers love knowing shit, or at least thinking we know shit, and breaking dating down into a series of charts and graphs is right up our alley. OkCupid is the Malcolm Gladwell of dating sites, simplifying a seemingly complex world into a series of cocktail-party-ready stats."
(Aug. 11, 2010, Anna North, Jezebel)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Britney Spears of trendy comfort food

"Fried chicken is like the Britney Spears of trendy comfort food. People have indulged in it in secret in past times because of the negative stereotypes that have been attached to it. But in very recent times, people have come to embrace it openly because of its uncontainable, undeniable goodness. Thankfully, fried chicken and Britney Spears are not bitter. They welcome appreciation from even those who belittled them before they gained mainstream respect."
(March 30, 2010, The High-heeled Contessa)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Vanilla Ice of murderers

"The Worst Murderer: O.J. Simpson. He's like the Vanilla Ice of murderers. He did something BIG over ten years ago and he's still riding on the coattails of his previous misdemeanor. What a loser."
(Jan. 5, 2009, Jacob Reviews Anything)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Dave Barry of the Irish dance world

"Zebadiah and Beauregard’s Front Porch – ZandB is my favorite Irish dance satirist. He is the Dave Barry of the Irish dance world. He is also a close personal friend, but believe it or not, I knew his blog before I knew him in person… and one of his posts triggered an incident two years ago which revealed to me the identity of this talented writer’s pseudonym. Since then, our families have enjoyed much fun together and have become lifelong friends."
(Feb. 3, 2008, MegaMAID's Parenting Parables)

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Humphrey Bogart of rabbits

"Petey has a very strong personality - we call him the Humphrey Bogart of rabbits! He is very attached to his foster mom and jumps in her lap (repeatedly!!) to get attention!"
(July 19, 2008, Huntsville Friends of Rabbits)