"Don't forget Arby's sauce. I want to have a hot tub filled with Arby's sauce. And Baja Fresh black salsa. And my favorite sauce in the world: the hoisin sauce that comes with your moo shu chicken takeout. They give you one little dipshit cup of hoisin sauce. I need an oil tanker full of it. It's so fucking good. I want my blood transfused with hoisin sauce. And there's basic Heinz ketchup, which is the Zeus of fast food condiments. Ever get some odd, non-Heinz ketchup with your shit? Tastes like Heinz that was left out in the sun for eight months."
(Feb. 23, 2010, Drew Magary, Deadspin)
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