Sunday, January 31, 2010

The LeBron James of pathologists

"Dr. Cyril Wecht is just about as famous a forensic pathologist can get. He’s the Lebron James of pathologists, the only difference being the quality of pussy I assume they get."
(Dec. 22, 2009, What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Peewee Herman of chow houses

"If restaurants were rated on the basis of how many uniquely oddball quirks they affect, the Kádár Étkezde would be the Peewee Herman of chow houses. It is only open for lunch. There is no real private seating – you usually share a table with a stranger. There is a seltzer bottle on each table, and you pay by the glass on the honor system. You don’t pay the waitress after your meal – you go to the guy in the white doctor’s coat standing by the door, recite what you ordered, add in how many glasses of seltzer and pieces of bread you had, and then, after paying, return to the dining room and personally slip the waitress a tip. The walls are covered with autographed photos of Hungarian celebrities of yore. It’s been like this for years. The Kádár Étkezde was one of the only private restaurants that existed during communist times, so they had to improvise the basic practicalities of capitalism, like how to pay for a meal."
(Feb. 14, 2007, Dumneazu)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Tom Waits of the ocean

"I think this dolphin is the Tom Waits of the ocean, I bet he drinks his whiskey from a jar and smokes 40 a day…."
(Oct. 16, 2009, Cute Overload)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Glenn Beck of volleyball

"Hans Stolfus, the Glenn Beck of volleyball! The article is brilliant; the foundation well-researched, the tone respectful but direct, and the conclusion painfully obvious."
(Nov. 17, 2009, Todd Rogers)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Morgan Freeman of vegetables

"Most of you have seen this featured item before, even if you haven't eaten it. It's down at the Greener Grocer, at most major food stores, and in nearly every restaurant. Yet, I doubt many people have actually purchased or cooked this for themselves. The Morgan Freeman of vegetables, if you will. Everyone recognizes it but it never gains any due recognition. So, today's Oh So underrated pick of the week is... KALE."
(March 16, 2009, Local Matters)

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Uncle Duke of the feline world

"The Uncle Duke of the feline world"
(Aug. 8, 2009, Lio Comic Strip)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Tyra Banks of men

"First, there are the wicked awesome shirts that he wears all of the time. They are the shizzle and he is simply a top flight male model. The Tyra Banks of men, if you will. Plus, he is an icon to metrosexuals with his 'double earring' look. The chicks dig him and men fear him. He can also just be a gigolo for the rest of his life coasting on his amazing looks."
(Oct. 1, 2009, Stop Annoying Me)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Brad Pitt of the green crib movement

"Ola! Crib from Casa Kids: There's a whole like of Ola! furniture that outside of their sustainable claim are truly beautiful pieces of furniture. We're gonna label these the Brad Pitt of the green crib movement. They look amazing no matter how they're dressed and are trying to save the planet one sale at a time. (Oh yeah, we went there)"
(Dec. 9, 2009, Ohdeedoh)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Christina Hendricks of beers

"The Christina Hendricks of Beers
Van Steenburge Gulden Draak – This is a Belgium brown ale/beer with the most lush and rich flavors. It tastes toasty, earthy and fruity at the same time with a little tart finish to it (like cherry). On top of all that awesome flavor, it has the coolest bottle/logo combo ever. White bottles and its signature golden dragon in front. Truly, an intimidating and deafeningly loud statement that I am here to rock your world."
(Sept. 25, 2009, Hot Food Porn)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Michael Phelps of droolage

"Crush (covertly dialing 911 on his cell phone): Uhhh….
You (the Michael Phelps of droolage): Don’t worry, I already took one without you noticing. You smell so good, Ben. Like baseball caps and fish. Will you go on a date with me? Don’t answer that. Don’t say anything. You’ll ruin the moment. Let’s just gaze at each other forever. I love loving you so much."
(Oct. 5, 2009, Chelsea Dagger, Spark Notes)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The "the Dude" of ubergeek futurism

"Oh yeah, KK is the the dude of ubergeek futurism. I laughed when I realised he was involved in The Whole Earth Catalog. I’d forgotten all about that august publication. It was the hippy counterculture Haight Ashbury Bible, Man!"
(Feb. 18, 2009, The Dog's Bollock's)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Taylor Swift of the middle-aged

"@Chris — apologies to you and all Bono fans. I agree, he’s very passionate. But, in my opinion, he’s all style and very little substance. You wouldn’t compare him to a pure, gifted singer (like Groban or even Keith Urban, who is also stylistic, but unlike Bono, he remains in key). Bono is the Taylor Swift of the middle-aged."
(Dec. 11, 2009, Story Fix)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The George Carlin of the DC universe

"Mr. J is just a guy whose sense of humor is a bit off from mainstream. He is the George Carlin of the DC Universe."
(Sept. 9, 2009, Silent Hill Resorts)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Tom Cruise of golf courses in Malaysia

"What can we say? While Bunga Raya was nice enough, crossing over to the palm, it’s easy to get blown away. We’re talking about a major character here on this course. This is like the Tom Cruise of Golf Courses in Malaysia. Compare it with, say, UPM or Nilai Springs, which are essentially like Awang Bin Amri or Lim Chin Ho. Don’t know who the heck these guys are? They are bit actors in Cerekerama and a few Chinese Series. I just made up their names, but that just further strengthens my point: Saujana Palm blows these sorry excuse of golf courses away. BLAM!"
(Dec. 5, 2009, Gilagolf)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Ron Artest of the English Department

"I do wonder, as a passing final thought, how the ending can be entirely 'throwaway' in Victor's eyes if he professes to like the second-last line, which is a departure from the horse-heavy 'intensity' he warns me against, and which leads (with what seems to me to be thundering inevitability) to the last line? I wonder, after reading his post, whether I ought not to sprinkle more 'throwaway' lines into the rest of the poem. But then, I guess I kind of like diving after loose words in a poem, just like Victor does with loose balls on the basketball court. I tell my students that I'm the Ron Artest of the English Department, as a matter of fact."
(April 15, 2005, The Miracle Shirker)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Elaine Benes of international diplomacy

"Hillary Clinton: The Elaine Benes of International Diplomacy."
(July 7, 2009, Exurban League)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The David Letterman of Korea or whatever

"FireHouse’s popularity in Southeast Asia: We went over there and were really surprised at how everyone knew our songs. They didn’t speak English but they could sing all the words to our songs. We were playing huge places for huge crowds, did a lot of TV shows – like the David Letterman of Korea or whatever, and the same kind of thing in Thailand. It was just awesome and we went back for like 4 or 5 tours of Southeast Asia. It just kept growing and growing and it was a great time."
(April 30, 2009, Bill Leverty, Melodic Rock Concerts)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Will Ferrell of foodstuffs

"That's too abridged for me; I found myself looking at the tables around me for Sriracha or a little leftover tonkatsu on someone else's plate to spruce up the noodles. You'd be better off ordering a small bowl of saimin on the side with a plate lunch of Kona Kitchen's smoky, salty Kalua pig and cabbage. Slow-roasted pork is the Will Ferrell of foodstuffs: Even when the performance is dialed-in or over the top, you're always glad to see it."
(May 18, 2009, Jonathan Kauffman, Seattle Weekly)